Are you dating a psychopath? This might sound straight out of a horror movie, but statistically, you’re 1 out of 100 chances dating one. The stereotypical psychopath is often thought of as a ruthless criminal, but they could be a lot more subtle than that, and even be the next door neighbor you often hang out with. So how do you know if you’re dating a psycho, and what do you even do about it? Fortunately, there’s a ton of research on that topic.
Related media: Sociopath Vs Psychopath – What’s The Difference?
Who Is A Psychopath?
First, let’s take a crash course about who fits the definition of a “psychopath”: Psychologists agree that psychopathy involves: persistent antisocial behavior, lack of empathy, boldness, emotional resiliency, meanness, impulsiveness, and extremely egotistical traits. Despite the fact that its well established and researched about, its really controversial on how to diagnose it. However, psychos aren’t all that bad, they also have quite a number of positive traits — such as paying attention, good at reading people, understanding conversations with ease, and their ability to be precise and creative makes them successful individuals.
Dating A Psychopath
The first thing to notice when dating a psychos is pathological lying. Of course, everyone does, but psychos take it to a whole new level. They’ll find all means possible to deceive you and will consistently lie about anything under whatever circumstances in order to be in control of you. Unfortunately, they often plan really strategic convincing stories; that might have gotten you attracted to them in the first place — this could even make you doubt their suspicions.
Research shows that psychos use a technique called gaslighting — that’s gradually demoralizing someone’s confidence and sense of self by persuading them in to believing that they’re worthless — leading to extreme self-doubt. If you happen to be dating a psycho, they will always try to manipulate you. They often get angry, nag, or repeat unnecessary conversations just to make you feel sorry for them and give in to whatever they want you to do. In short, they’re really cunning. Their lack of empathy is really a force to reckon with.
The Mind Of A Psycho
A study that scanned the brains of psychos found that the higher their level of psychopathy, the more likely they were to cheat and not feel bad about it. There was reduced activity in the anterior cingulate cortex involved with morality, impulse control, and their emotions among others. And other studies found that psychos have both structural and functional differences in several brain areas, including the prefrontal cortex involved with personality development and planning.
It’s clearly also exhausting to be in a relationship with someone who struggles to feel empathy. However, some studies have indicated that psychos may actually have the ability to feel empathy — both on an intellectual and emotional level — but can choose to disregard it, as if they have an emotional off switch. Similarly, it seems psychopaths are often aware of the wrongfulness in their negative behavior but act in that way in any case due to their lack of self-control.
Dealing With Emotional Denial
If you happen to break up with a psycho, you’re more likely going to feel sorry for them — but that’s more likely than not, because you’re no longer under their influence anymore. But if you ever want to get them back, you’re more likely than not going to succeed. Why? Because of their lack of empathy, they will never take responsibility for the break up in the first place to begin with, and won’t offer to change moving on. Instead, they will blame it all on you, or anyone else but themselves.
Their attitude is kind of like, “if you are feeling hurt, then it is all your responsibility,” — in other words, its your fault. However, if their next relationship isn’t that challenging, interesting, and to their satisfaction as they hoped for, then they might come right back to you with cunning apologies just to win you back — promising you lots of love. This is all because psychos live a parasitic lifestyle, taking more than they give. They always want but will never give out. Sounds familiar?
What they want from you is all that you have: your time, your resources, your attention, and even your finances as well. This is not to say psychos aren’t human. They are. They also feel loneliness, sadness, desires, and have emotions as everyone does; it seems they have some sort of empathy switch, deciding when to feel empathy and when not to feel pity for others. In fact, psychopaths are weird in their own rite. Frankly speaking, dating a psychopath isn’t for the faint of hearts.
Do you think you’re dating a psychopath?
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Written by: Nana Kwadwo, Sat, Jul 27, 2019.