Here are 13 signs of having a higher than average emotional intelligence.

We often talk about intelligence quotient (IQ) as the well wished feature for achieving great success. But little do we know about emotional quotient (EQ). On the flip side, EQ is simply having the ability to understand and manage emotions. Also known as emotional intelligence, what does it look like to us in our every day life? Well…, it greatly influences the way people generally think about emotions and human behavior, as well as how we strive for success or deal with failure. Here are 13 signs that says you are emotionally intelligent.



#1. You Think About Feelings

First of all, emotional intelligence begins with self- and social awareness — the ability to recognize emotions — both in yourself and in others. This begins with reflecting on personal and social aspects of your life. Here, you ponder over questions like: what are these feelings telling you or about others. This yields valuable insights that can be used to your advantage and that of others.



#2. You Often Pause To Reflect

This is simply taking a moment to stop and think before you proceed with… whatever. Easy said than done. This saves you from embarrassing moments or from judging too quickly. Pausing helps you avoid making commitments and permanent decisions simply because of how you’re feeling temporarily. Hold fast!



#3. You Strive To Control Your Thoughts

Do you have total control over your emotions? Nobody does. But, at least, you have control over your reactions, by controlling your thoughts. Like they say, you can’t stop a bird from perching on your roof, but you can stop it from building a nest. When you strive to control your thoughts, you resist the temptation of being vulnerable to your emotions. This allows you to live in harmony with how you think and feel about yourself.



#4. You Benefit From Criticism

We all hate negative feedback. However, criticism serves as an opportunity to learn, even if its delivered in the worst of manners. This gives you a peek into the window of how others think or even feel towards you. Instead of worrying about negative feedback, see this as an opportunity to learn more about yourself in an unconventional way. Ask yourself: How can this make me better? It sure does.



#5. You Show Authenticity

Authenticity means being yourself. Period! But it doesn’t mean that you have to share everything about yourself, to everyone, all the time. It means saying what you mean, and meaning what you say. Holding on to your own moral code and principles above all else. Not everyone will buy into this, but you have yourself to please, and not others.



#6. You Demonstrate Empathy

Empathy is hard to define nowadays. Is it having the same feelings as others, or is it understanding how others feel? Whatever. The ability to show empathy means that you understand how others feel in as much as how they really feel. This helps you develop a deeper level of connection with others. Instead of judging or labeling others with stereotypical biases, you tend to agree with how they understand and envision the world. Empathy is about striving to understand the emotions of others.



#7. You Praise Others

We all aspire to be acknowledged and appreciated. When we’re praised, we tend to give off our best, and when we’re criticized, well… not much. So when you do the former on to others, you give them an assurance and satisfaction that ultimately builds a trust-worthy relationship. By focusing on the good deeds you see in others, inspires them to become the best version of themselves.



#8. You Give Helpful Feedback

See #4 in this list. We don’t like negative feedback. As it turns out to have a great potential in hurting the feelings of others. Acknowledging this lets you refrain from using criticism as cutback. Instead, you build constructive feedback that’s helpful rather than harmful.



#9. You Apologize

“I’m sorry!” Sounds easy, and tough for the faint of heart, but not the emotional resilient. It takes strength and a grit of courage to say you’re sorry. This demonstrates a certain level of humility — a quality that a few possess. Being emotionally intelligent helps you realize that apologizing doesn’t mean you’re wrong. It means that you value your relationship more than your ego.



#10.  You Forgive And Forget

Resentment is a nasty way of seeking vengeance. Its like holding on to a knife you’ve been stabbed with — you’ll never heal. The people who hurt you may run off, and if you don’t allow yourself to recover, you only harm yourself more. When you forgive, you prevent them from holding your emotions hostage; and when you forget, you let go of those pesky feelings that are haunting you. So forgive the person and equally forget them as well. Period!



#11. You Keep Your Commitments

Nowadays, its pretty common for people to break a commitment or an agreement whenever they feel like it. Obviously, bailing on an evening of the Super Bowl with your family and friends will do not harm, but if you do so at the expense of a major business deadline, then you know what’s at stake. Make it a deal to always keep your word and build the habit towards developing a good reputation for reliability, integrity, and trustworthiness.



#12. You Help Others

They say a friend in need is always a friend indeed. But its rather the opposite, or it isn’t? Whatever. Of course, the greatest impact you can have on the emotions of others is to help them, nonetheless. It doesn’t matter where you come from, or your accolades earned, but the effort you put into helping others reach their potential makes a huge difference. These actions build trust and inspire others to also strive to reach greater heights.



#13. You Protect Yourself From Emotional Sabotage

Finally, emotional intelligence has a dark side, too. This is when people take advantage of the emotions of others to promote a personal agenda or some other selfish cause. In respect of this, you need to hold fast to your emotions not to fall prey to such con-artists and sharpen your own emotional intelligence.


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Written by: Nana Kwadwo, Sat, Feb 05, 2022.

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