Let’s guess a few things about your relationship: at first, it was awesome, now, it’s not awesome (or is it?), and last, it’s somewhat stuck between joyful and peachy, huh? Never mind! We might be wrong. (If we’re right, let us know in the comments). We’ve all been there. That awkward moment when you and bae seem not to open up about your feelings about your relationship. And what seemed like it was going to be happily ever after, is now falling apart. Dear couples, your relationship might be lacking emotional integrity, and here are six signs that says so.
Related media: Emotional Integrity: The Psychology Perspective
Whence Cometh Emotional Integrity?
Integrity is the quality of being honest and fair; a state of being just, complete, incorruptible, and of sound judgment. Sounds fair enough! Being emotional is simply acknowledging your feelings. Period! Whence cometh emotions with integrity? Well…, from the above definition of integrity, that’s what emotional integrity is all about, too. Simply put it, being honest about how you feel. It’s all about knowing what you feel and why, being able to openly confront people with your emotions rather than hiding it — even if you’re hurt, show how you feel.
Whenever you own your feelings and present them to your partner honestly, you are exhibiting a great sense of integrity, emotionally. You truly express what’s within your inner self, and that’s emotional integrity. This ensures that you and your partner both understand your relationship. This means you’re willing to face uncomfortable truths about yourself that might harm not only you, but your partner as well.
Interestingly, most people of personal integrity — the diehard honest people — are actually lacking in this regard. Of course, it’s possible to be a bastion of honesty, but not fully able to admit to deep emotional sentiments. A recent study in 2021 found that people’s authenticity about their own emotions — how well their appearance and actions reflect what they are truly feeling inside — varies as they go about their everyday lives.
Do you find yourself wanting? These six signs will tell you where you fall short of your emotional integrity.
#1. You’re Neither Angry Nor Hurt
Being in a relationship is not easy as you anticipated earlier. The frustration, anger, and… oh my word, all the baseless arguments. Being able to confront your relationship head on with what’s bothering you is indeed a healthy sign. Trying to avoid these feelings is a sign that you lack emotional integrity. Claiming you’re not angry or hurt when you actually are — often saying nothing is wrong when something clearly is — is eventually going to end your relationship for good. Note that!
#2. You’re Hiding Your Mistakes
We often pretend to be a good person just to win the favor of the significant other person we’re trying to impress. And since you don’t want to lose your relationship so you keep up pretending just to be like, hiding yourself, weaknesses, and shortcomings. But all the act will eventually blurt out, exposing yourself to your partner, which wouldn’t end well for you, you know. Just be yourself!
#3. You’re Unpredictable
We all want to know as much as possible about our partners — their good deeds as much as their bad deeds. But if you and baeconstantly find it hard trying to guess subtle things about each other, then your affair is a ticking time bomb.
#4. You Don’t Want To Offend Your Partner
We’re all guilty of this one, or you don’t want to admit it? That’s what you do, you don’t want to be offended in as much as offend your partner. Holding back negative comments against your partner means you’re not really interested with your relationship. Just utter one negative sentiment and you think it’s all over. And, of course, it will be, because bae isn’t use to that.
#5. You’re Unaware Of Your Feelings
How do you feel about now in your relationship? Happy, worried, or somewhat? Duh! Lack of emotional integrity most often than not means you don’t even understand your emotions. This is when you can’t tell whether you’re happy or relaxed, sad or worried, and hurt or anxious. You get mixed feelings as if you’re feeling this or that. In general, you’re unaware of your feelings.
#6. You’re Hiding Your Feelings
Last but now not the least, you hide your feelings. Not only do you hide you feelings, but practically everything. Your true self, finances, properties, life goals, and anything you prioritize to yourself. Hide yourself, especially your feelings, means you’re not ready for the relationship, and bae will notice this trend sooner or later. Open up, or else it’s over.
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Written by: Nana Kwadwo, Sat, Feb 19, 2022.