Have you ever been extremely angry and found yourself in tears? Whereas a lot of people shout, cuss and engage in aggressive actions, some people just cry.
Crying, psychologists say, is a very common reaction to grief and anger. Crying when in pain and sorrow is quite understandable but when in that particular moment your temper was been stirred and you’ve even passed the boiling point and instead of the perfect defensive attack you can visualize in your mind’s eye, you feel a little trickle, one-two oh their tears, then full-blown out crying. This can be quite confusing.
Crying is a perfectly normal expression of anger according to psychologists. Anger is an intense emotional reaction to feeling wronged. The expected reaction then is a counterattack. How then is crying a normal reaction? Anger elicits a lot of reactions including aggression, depression, sadness, and anxiety.
Related media: Why Do We Cry?
Anger Is Fueled By Pain
Anger is often triggered by situations that hurt you. Be it being yelled at by your boss, constantly being ignored by family and friends, this builds resentment resulting in built-up anger. Crying releases the pent-up frustration, it releases the anger and pain. Crying becomes a soothing balm for the pain. Crying is not a sign of weakness, it is a form of self-soothing and emotional release. Crying helps decrease your heart rate and forces you to regulate your breathing.
Unfair Situations Can Instigate Anger
When you are in a situation that feels unfair to you, naturally you’ll feel hurt. Just imagine writing and failing a certification exam year on year, the piled hurt automatically transforms to anger at the whole situation. This anger sometimes is even directed at the organizers and other people who pass while you failed. Kids often shout “that’s not fair!” and burst into tears when they are denied their wants. Adults often bottle up the “that’s not fair!” feeling that eventually finds its way out as tears.
Crying Is Involuntary
If you are in a fight with a loved one, angry at the number of unsuccessful interviews you’ve attended, frustrated by your account balance, or in a situation you have no control over; crying comes as a contrived reaction because you are overwhelmed and just at your wit’s end. The situation might not be resolved after the crying but the release of pent-up emotions makes you feel lighter and more determined to find a solution.
Often time crying is associated with weakness and this notion makes it very embarrassing if you cry in public. If you are unable to control your emotions in public, distance yourself a little and take calming deep breaths. Angry tears can be very distressing sometimes, especially in a work environment where you would have to see and interact with the people who saw you give that ‘ugly’ cry.
Crying is also a signal to the outside world that you are hurting. Maybe you’re not willing to ask for help all the time. But when you truly need it, your tears might be the cry for help you aren’t willing to ask for. It’s harder to bottle up how you feel when you feel it so strongly. That’s why tears often accompany anger. You feel so much all at once that you can’t help but let it all out.
If you’ve ever been in the middle of a conversation and found yourself saying, “I don’t know why I’m crying,” take a deeper look inside of yourself. There is probably a hurt that needs to be responded to.
Let us know how often you cry.
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Written by: Phoebe Addo, Sat, Mar 26, 2022.